Work

You know when I said that one of the few good things about winter is "more time" - yeah, I was lying. Darn it.
I have yet to decorate this house (or clean it) for the season but I did manage to go out and spend money on decorations. Money I really should have saved for gifts. Sorry friends, you get fridge magnets only this year! But I got such beautiful, big candles and a vase I've been coveting for about a year. (Actually, the Walmart version of the vase I've been coveting.) The vase really is nothing special but somehow, it makes me happy. I rarely spend on household decor (and it shows) so it feels like a big, important step to me.



Hmmm....it also shows by these pictures that I am anything but a photo- grapher.

What have I been doing with my time? Well, school and....school. And work, and school... I'm not complaining because I love school, but I FEEL like complaining because I love time too and I no longer have any.
An update on work: turns out that my Friday off was the prelude I feared. You see, I began my job with a clear understanding that they only needed part time help and I was only available for part time work. Since then they've asked me to go to full time or to pick up another day...twice. And I said no....twice. Immediately after the second "no" they hired a new girl and I received a letter saying that "because part time staff put limitations on their availability (yeah, thats why they call it "part time") we were unable to respond to...individuals who required immediate assistance.....this is your notice to expect a reduction in your hours of work."
Needless to say I took it personally and have been stressed ever since; but I'm trying to take this as an opportunity to be a grown up and develop a thicker skin. Work is extremely hush hush about EVERYTHING so I have no idea if my hours will be reduced by 3 or 30. I do know that the girl before me asked to move from full time to part time and they (in an email) told her not to worry about working, they've figured out how to give her 40 hrs off a week! Seriously. So she quit. :) My boss used to be overly enthusiastic when he saw me and encouraged/complimented me continually, took me out to lunch, told me I had a career in what I was doing. Now I get the barest acknowledgment. I'm not making these things up, it sounds like highschool, I know!
But you know, its ok. Or at least I'm beginning to see it as ok. Like I said, I could use more time. And it's just a job. Their opinion of me is JUST an opinion. As my wise brother Donny has been known to say, "Opinions are like farts, everyone has them and they all stink." Thanks for that little nugget bro, I shall carry it with me to the grave.
The hardest part is that I love my job and I've become very attached to my personal clients. So even though I'm practicing being a grown up, I have come home several times after a day of training the new girl with MY clients, and wept some bitter tears. And, although Justin considers this to be slightly arrogant, I'm also convinced that I do a great job and while the new girl is qualified, I don't think she can do a "better" job. Not that she won't do very well, I'm just already doing very well. Ok yeah, that IS a little arrogant, but no less true! :) A final straw was when I was told I could attend the staff/client Christmas party, but I didn't have to. (Insert swear words here!)
I too have to remember that I am inclined to pessimism (I took a questionnaire, it said I'm a pessimist. More on that later.) and things may not turn out as badly as I think. The story is not over. And if it IS over, life is certainly not over.