...the Wise, the Witty, and the Waste of your time...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I am an Amoeba

When your boss approaches you out of the blue and tells you that, "by the way, you get next Friday off, the new guy's taking your shift..." ...is that a reason for concern? You get a day off???? What? Is that code for "You're being phased out, let go, fired? You're a lousy worker?!" Grrr! What are you saying?!?!

What is an appropriate response for something like this? Thank you?... What have I done wrong?... Is this about hating?

The frustration and uncertainty of this stupid announcement, made first thing in the morning, has been pounding in my head all day; wanting to unleash at the most inopportune times in a flood of tears. You see, lately I've made a few innocent yet obvious blunders at work. Nothing major, no lives have been lost or psyches' harmed but they have been mistakes and worse yet, personal pet peeves of my employer. (Quote- When you don't make your end of the week phone call, I take that as a personal finger to the boss!-end quote.)

I feel (I do not know if this is FACT, but I FEEL) as though I went from star player/valued employee to "get 'er replaced, asap!" I HATE this feeling.

So now I'm getting a day off. I should be ecstatic because I haven't had a Friday evening at home in 7 months but instead here I am; a pathetic neurotic, hunched over my keyboard, posting my fears and insecurities to the general public, and desperately wishing I had been born with a backbone.

Yep, there it is...there's my backbone. All pink and squishy.

I didn't even ask why or if this is something I should expect long term or if its a reflection of my job quality or if they are revamping schedules for everyone or ANYTHING! I didn't ask anything. As always, I responded with a dead-calm "Ok" as if it really was. Why is it just always "OK" with me. I mean, it is not my goal to be abrasive and confrontational but seriously, I don't have to be a passive doormat to everyone. I'm the proverbial ostrich with its head in a hole or possum playing dead. Hide, wait till it blows over, take the blame, say you're sorry, just heaven forbid don't hurt anyone's feelings or stand up for anything.

Except the phone company, I'm sick of the phone companies calling with their newest bundle that only costs a fortune. I am very to the point with them. I can't hang up because that feels rude but I can say very sternly, "No thank-you, I'm very uninterested, you don't need to call here again. If I change my mind, I'll call you!" I know, bravery at its finest.

You know, there is always the option of just not reading into my "day off" and actually enjoying it. I hadn't thought of that till this very second. If this IS a precursor to bad news than I could just deal with it as it comes, IF it comes. Isn't there a Bible verse that says not to worry about tomorrow..."...sufficient for the day is its trouble..." or something like that. Hmmm...

Friday, October 26, 2007

Nasturtium invasion

My garden is past, done, kaput. Note that I stopped posting pictures of it several months ago. Justin and I went to SK in August and upon our return, things were not quite as happy as they'd been in spring. Since than my plants have always looked a little ragged. It might have had something to do with the fact that i have absolutely no way of knowing how to fight for the health of a plant. If its green, sweet. If something's wrong...well than I guess its a goner. Even though my plants showed signs of strange maladies, they produced quite a wealth of lovely vegetables which we thoroughly enjoyed. But now...summer is officially over, I think the tomato plants froze last night (I couldn't be bother to cover them cuz it was raining!) and everything else has already been torn out. It was a good experience...mostly. Gardening is a lot of work and for me...its not so much a "labor of love" as it is just a "Labor" you know.

And furthermore, has anyone here ever planted Nasturtiums? Yeah those plants are crazy! I have a love/hate relationship with them. I planted them because I was intrigued that the entire thing is edible and tastes like pepper; and because they do well when neglected. I just didn't know HOW well. I planted them as a border in a sandy little flower spot and of course, watered sporadically because I'm like that. None of the other plants stood a chance. The "border" is so healthy and robust and huge, it took over the flower patch and is actually creeping INto our house!

I posted this picture a while back...notice the tiny contained little nasturtiums along the front and side.

And now look....I'm actually a little bitter at them, this was not the look I'd intended and I can't MAKE them die. Rain or shine, hot or cold, water or no water...they just get bigger! Because I'm bitter about them choking out the other plants (those plants are almost all still there, ya just can't see 'em!), I give them a daily kick as I go by. Unfortunately I think they like that! I've had to trim them back from the door several times.

See what I mean....they're actually crawling into the house here!

They are pretty though, I can't deny it. And because they are I might have just the tiniest little soft spot for them...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Girl Gone Crazy...at the Wholesale.

I have a love/hate relationship with grocery shopping. I dread it and look forward to it at the same time. Its strange, I know, but not nearly as strange as my weird "random item fetish."

In looking through my pantry today I realized that I have 3 cans of evaporated milk. Why? In my two years of cooking and baking I have never used evaporated milk, why do I feel I need to keep buying this? Same with canned and dried beans and canned tomatoes and whole wheat pasta. Every time I go grocery shopping I feel compelled to pick up a couple of cans and/or boxes of these items. Oh - these and laundry soap. For a while I kept running into laundry soap sales and I felt I had to take advantage of these good prices. Then one day Justin noticed that we have 4 giant (because of course I buy them in bulk) containers of laundry soap and he confronted my lunacy. I have curbed this one in particular (for the time being) because it takes up so much space...and because Justin is watching. In fact, whenever he shops with me he thinks it is the funniest thing in the world to casually grab several boxes as we're passing the aisle just to get me to glare at him...which I do.

I've decided I feverishly stockpile these items because they're inexpensive. "89 cents a can!? I'll take 6!! Oh my goodness gracious, the pasta is only $1.49 today, I'd better buy two of each kind!!"

Yeaaah, its ALWAYS $1.49. What I REALLY want to do is pick up some of those beer sausage pepperoni sticks and some specialty cheeses and herbed crackers and icecream and sundried tomatoes and juice and wild Alasken salmon fillets and steaks and those ramikens that match my kitchen. But those are all "splurge" items and not necessities so, canned tomatoes it is.

Don't get me wrong, we eat very well. Its just that we eat a LOT! And by "we" I really mean, "Justin." So even withOUT the splurge items I find our grocery budget to be staggering. What on EARTH are we gonne do when we have kids, especially if they are boys!

Today however, I broke out of my pathetic rut. Yes, I still bought both tomato products AND pasta. In all fairness, I thought we might be out. We most certainly WEREN'T but I thought we MIGHT be! And I bought bowtie pasta, we haven't tried that one yet. I mixed things up by adding to my list a splurge item. I was cringing as I paid for it because I could HEAR my mom telling me that when you're trying to be thrifty you DON'T buy things like chocolate and icecream, but I bravely sallied on and shelled out $2.97 on my unnecessary purchase. NesQuik chocolate milk syrup. I felt a little excited but mostly guilty and confessed my misdeed immediately to Justin as I stepped in the door and instead of "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING!" I heard, "YESSSSS!"

Hm, well that wasn't so bad. And since mom's not watching anyway...I might do this again someday.

Unfortunately my little excursion on the wild side comes with 70 calories a Tablespoon. Is it possible I could ration this delicious temptation in my fridge? Will I be sane with my consumption? I honestly don't know, but from past experience I'd say the chances are not good.

You know, I work with disabled people and find it amusing and endearing how repetitious some of their odder habits are. One withdraws $54 every Tuesday and another greets me with the predicted weather highs and lows every day. To these I give a small patronizing chuckle and think, "Ah, disabled people, what funny quirks they have." And then on my break, off I go to buy another can of evaporated milk.

Too Many Schoolbooks!

I love the school I'm doing, I really do. I'm actually fascinated with things like body systems and vitamins and the healing power in marigolds. For instance, did you know that offensive body odor is usually a sign of poor health, (as well as hygiene) particularly poor "elimination" health? (If you're not eliminating properly your body can reabsorb some waste and try to get rid of it in other ways...like through the skin.) And did you know that white postmenopausal women are most susceptible to osteoporosis, black and white men get it but its far less common, and black women almost never get it?!?! And that you should have a bowel movement 18 hours after every meal. And that strength training actually increases the strength and density of your bones, not just muscles. (Which by the way, decreases the risk of osteoporosis.)
Anyway, I love learning but like any student, sometimes its overwhelming. The reading pile begins to look like a mountain and deadlines invade your dreams. I think one of the many earwigs in our home knows just how I feel. I pulled one of my particularly large books off the shelf the other day and laughed at loud at what I found.

Perfectly pressed. I feel like its too much to handle some days, but for this creepy crawly, it really IS too much! Talk about a big workload!:) Or biting off more than you can chew! Apparently this earwig was quite impressed at the facts about marigolds, osteoporosis, and vitamins as well! muwahaha!

And from the side!! This gives me the giggles every time. I get so tired of these hideous little things coming into our house so it really makes my heart smile to see the rather dramatic end of this particular fiend. I guess this taught him!
I know, I'm very pun-ny.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Snow Angels

I want to thank you all for your contributions to the "Good things about Winter" list. I really should print this off and chant it as my mantra each morning. I would be a happier, more balanced winter person; less the snarling, sobbing, pathetic, chocolate crazed beast of years gone by.

Actually, on the top of THIS year's list specifically is the fact that Justin and I get to have a 2 week window of blissful, sunny AUSTRALIAN summer in the middle of the Okanagan winter!! Seriously, IS there anything better?!?!?! This year, it will be "snow" angels on the beach!!! Justin and I have been deliberating on this decision for some time and finally took the plunge. Money shmoney...you only live once! The tickets are paid for and we are already there in our minds. Yesterday Justin was already mentally ticking off a list of things to bring with us!! We get to hang out with some fantastic friends and soak in some much needed sunshine. The anticipation of the trip and the afterglow when we get back should propel me quite nicely through the gray days a'comin'!