...the Wise, the Witty, and the Waste of your time...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Impossibly Kissable

These are pictures taken by her Nana and Poppa. Justin stuck her in their bed in the mornings while they were here. Looks like they didn't mind.

She came fully edible.

Settling in for a family nap.

So Worth The Wait!

Evanie Josephine

Born July 24 at 7:20am
Weighing 7lbs 8ozs

She was so peaceful and alert.

Absolutely precious.

First bath at 1 day old.

Meeting Nana and Poppa at 2 days old.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Losin' it a Little

So I scrubbed my kitchen floor today... As I suspected, it hadn't gotten dirty yet from the scrubbing I gave it two days ago. Whoever started the rumor that this is the secret to going into labor was playing a cruel joke on all crazed pregnant ladies.

And even though I know this...I persist...

Friday, July 17, 2009

"I Carried a Watermelon"

39 Weeks

So if I could give any advice to first time pregnant ladies it's this: Don't buy watermelon while pregnant. If you're like me and it's the ONLY thing in the world that you actually WANT to eat, ask your husband to purchase it for you.

Why? Because there are too many ridiculous people loose in this world.

About two weeks ago I bought a watermelon and as I approached the counter the cashier started shrieking with laughter and yelling, "Look, TWINS!" Hardy har lady. It was too hilarious to keep to herself so she shouted out to the next cashier and the other people in line who, to their credit, all looked horrified and unamused.

Then as she was (oh so slowly) ringing up my purchases she warned me not to be lifting heavy items while pregnant to which I responded that I wasn't to which she responded by pointing at the watermelon. OH give me a break? It's like, 4LBs! And it's not going to jump into the cart on it's own!

Fast forward to yesterday, same scenario (look, I NEED watermelon), different store. Again the cashier starts making jokes about me trying to smuggle a free one under my shirt, Chortle Chortle. Again, very funny.

The lovely gray haired woman in front of me in line took the opportunity of my cornered status (well after my purchase was made) to tell me it's "all about being relaxed" and showed me some clever trick you can do with your fingers that proves your body is relaxed and relayed how she just sat and did this for a day and a half and "viola" out came her daughter. I gritted my teeth from making some snide comment about not doing things 1800s style and tried to squeeze my 'watermelon smuggling' body past her cart. Unfortunately I'm not the fastest on my feet these days so she kept pace with me and continued her steady stream of advice out into the parking lot. I don't have a clue what she said because I was too focused on holding my watermelon and biting my tongue.

Then, to heap insult to injury, upon arriving home, I had the watermelon jammed between my foot and the door while finding my keys and before I could react it rolled out of the bag, onto the porch, bounced down the steps, into the carport, and began rolling towards the road. I chased it, none to nimbly and managed to corner it right before it reached the road. Then I pregnant plie squatted to hoist it up and angrily carried it into the house.

The moral? No more watermelons until after the baby. Stick to grapes and strawberries.

Like these! We picked these on Tuesday and oh my goodness, are they delicious!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ticker Schmicker

My pregnancy ticker says the same thing today as it did yesterday! I don't know why it was a day early but I have to say, I'm glad it's staying the same and not proclaiming either "Yay, the baby is here" or counting days overdue. From here on out, every day is the due date!

And speaking of tickers, I obliterated the one on Facebook. Great casualty, I know. I've had people point out to me that it's never on track but every time I checked it, it was. This morning it said I was 37 weeks and 6 days....then it suddenly changed its mind and decided I was 41 weeks and 4 days. You know, you just gotta do everything yourself these days. So the truth is...

Today is the due date.

Today is the day that a doctor pulled out of a hat and tacked on my chart in order to torture me. I'm supposed to go into labor....TODAY. Now every day that I continue being pregnant, I'm "over"due, I'm doing it wrong, I'm late, I'm not progressing as I should, I'm over-baking the baby, I'm slow, I'm behind, and I'm getting slightly more irrational. Even though I know that it's just a date on the calendar and practically meaningless, I can't help but pin some hopes on July 14th.

Which, according to my calculations...is probably actually, in all honesty, according to the information they give us and my memory of October's activities.....earlier than it should be. But only by a few days.

I'm going to start a campaign for making due Weeks. It would be so much kinder to the mothers.

And PS. ...It would be unwise to call and ask if I'm in labor because I'M NOT!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


It seems in these last week, I am easily overwhelmed. I haven't actually cried too many times but I've been on the verge multiple times a day.

Yesterday I realized that if newborns really go through 13 diapers a day than I have about 1 1/2 days of diapers on hand. I was actually completely thrilled at the prospect of going out and buying some but all the thrill went screaming down the aisle when I got to the store and was faced with a wall of diapers.

It probably took 5 minutes just to locate the sizes on the packages, I felt completely inadequate because I had no idea what "scooters" and "swaddlers" stood for. I'd thought I was figuring it out when Justin pointed out I was holding Pull Ups! That's all it took for MotherHood to came crashing down around my feet and I straight panicked. Actual panic, fear, insecurity...all the "I can't do this" feelings in the world came roaring in. Over diapers.

When I did discover "N" for newborn, the problem didn't disappear because then there were about 8 choices, with umbilical cut out, the green choice, organic cotten, blow-out safe, cheaper, more expensive, 36 in a pack, 40 in a pack...WHAT THE HECK IS THE RIGHT ONE!?!?! And for real, $30 for 5 or 6 days of diapers?? Is this reality??? Let me tell you, we did not budget for this.

So anyway, I might have had just a few wee tears right there in Walmart. Justin is very patient with me...somehow diaper options wasn't quite as traumatic for him as it was for me so he was the strong shoulder while I melted down.

Am I normal?

Lie if you have to.