...the Wise, the Witty, and the Waste of your time...

Monday, April 23, 2007

Green Thumb???

I am well aware that I don't have a green thumb.

Regardless of this, I've been very excited to have the opportunity to have a small garden and a few flowers this year. Just to give it a try. Saturday I pulled out the pots and Begonia bulbs someone bought for me and set to work. Justin wasn't here so I went at it on my own, confidant I could stick a few bulbs in a pot. Whats so hard about that?

The directions said to plant the bulb flat side up, rounded side down. However, upon opening the little packet I discovered that my bulbs had "sprouted." There was roughly an inch long shoot off the bulb with a pink, fuzzy, leafy thing on the end. I felt a little bad that I'd left it long enough that it sprouted but hey, better late then never right? I dug the little holes, put some water in, and stuck in the bulbs.

They weren't perfectly shaped in the Flat-on-one-Side-Rounded-on-the-other-side the way the directions implicated but there was definitely a "roundish" and a "flatish" side to the thing. The only confusing part being that it was sprouting out of the rounder side. So they might have been a little deformed, I dunno...I carried on, planted my little Begonias and was pretty satisfied to see the happy pink, fuzzy, leafy things poking up through the dirt.

Now I've been watching my 'guinea pig' plant, waiting for it to do something. All the while I have a terrible fear nagging in the back of my mind that the fuzzy leafy things are not flowers at all, far from it. I've asked a few people their opinions and the common verdict seems to be that my fears are correct.

I've planted them upside-down. My pink fuzzy plant is not "sprouting" so much as it has ROOTS. Roots that are now poking out of the dirt, waving in the breezes. GRRR.

Its funny, I'll admit that. Maybe even hilarious. But I can't help but feel a little silly anyway. My poor children, what will I do to them?

So I guess I know what I've got to do....unless, I wonder if it would grow anyway. I could just have a potted root system in my house. It would be unique....

I'm happy to say that the rest of our planting has seemed to be more successful so far. We've got corn, potatoes, peas, beans, and broccoli in the ground right now and more seeds waiting for hotter weather. Thankfully with seeds there's no real right side up so I think we're ok with those.

I'm beginning to realize I might have to be a little more careful in relaying these stories of my extreme mishaps to everyone because I think some people are actually pretty convinced I'm a few fries short if you know what I mean. I'm confidant this isn't the case but....some days......I dunno.....

Monday, April 16, 2007

New Job...yes, again.

So uh, today I started my new job. No I'm not repeating my post of 3 weeks ago, I started a new, new job. My last day as cashier was Friday and my first day at my new job was today, Monday.

I'm quite excited about it. I definitely felt like a bad person quitting so soon on my first new job but the second new job is something I think will be better. The institution I'm working for is basically social work, assisted living, home care....something like that. We work with all disabled people and the variety of disabilities is pretty broad. Today for "work" I sat and talked to the clients, cheered them on as they had pool tournament, served them hotdogs, and then watched a movie with them. I'm getting paid for this!

I think working with these people will be really good for me. They so genuine and unjudging, two things that need huge help in my life.

I'm only starting as relief so I don't expect too many hours, at least not right away. But for the time being thats perfect because school takes plenty of time. And to fill up space there are two cute, well mannered children I babysit. What more could I ask for?

Marriage is a mirror

When Justin and I first got married, we made a valient effort to wade through the three marriage books given as gifts. We made it through the first, started the second, and never even cracked open the third. However, the first one was worth it. I'm sure the others were as well, we'll just never know.
One thing that stood out to me because I didnt' understand it was the statement that: Marriage is a mirror. In it you find the "opportunity" to see yourself for who you really are. That is my rendition of the author's statement and he went further with it but I'll stop there. I didn't understand it because I read that at the beginning of our marriage. It now makes sense because I've seen it.
Before I was married I would have described myself as caring, very laid back, easy going, friendly, hardworking, not easily angered or offended, unconfrontational, not terribly opinionated, and an all around "good catch."
Well ladies and gentlemen, thats a lie. I have discovered that I am all those things on a good, happy, smooth day. On a day when I'm cranky or hungry or pms-y or short tempered, I am exposed for who I really am. Suddenly out the window goes the "happy fairy child" and I'm left with a snappy, selfish, critical, short tempered, petty, opinionated, snarling little badger ready to pick a fight 'just because.'
You may be wondering, how does this relate to a mirror or, maybe is Justin a terrible husband to turn me into Cruella Deville? Let me continue.
When I was single, I was exactly who I am now, both good and bad. But, when I was single, it was easy to see myself as better than I was because when I was snarly I could just go home and cool off. If i was in a bad mood, I stayed to myself or went to bed. If I felt like saying critical things about someone, I was the only one who had to know.
When I was single, I didn't have someone always there to be a witness to the ugly of me. Its easy to hide it, even to yourself, if no one is with you. But when you have someone else watching and taking the brunt of your attitudes and careless words and selfishness...suddenly it all becomes very real and you have to come face to face with the fact that you're actually NOT all that. Because you are witnessed in your lowest points, you suddenly see them. So it is a mirror.
However, this is not a bad thing. (at least i keep telling myself that) Because if you can hide from your dirty laundry they'll stay dirty forever. Its upon being exposed to someone else that you have to fess up, admit it, face it, and go to your Help.
So even though this mirror shows me in no uncertain terms that I'm kind-of a jerk, if I can let shame and remorse lead me to humility and repentance, its all for the best.
I have a lot of changing to do, thankfully I know that its not impossible because God is the changer, I am just the changee.