Marriage is a mirror

When Justin and I first got married, we made a valient effort to wade through the three marriage books given as gifts. We made it through the first, started the second, and never even cracked open the third. However, the first one was worth it. I'm sure the others were as well, we'll just never know.
One thing that stood out to me because I didnt' understand it was the statement that: Marriage is a mirror. In it you find the "opportunity" to see yourself for who you really are. That is my rendition of the author's statement and he went further with it but I'll stop there. I didn't understand it because I read that at the beginning of our marriage. It now makes sense because I've seen it.
Before I was married I would have described myself as caring, very laid back, easy going, friendly, hardworking, not easily angered or offended, unconfrontational, not terribly opinionated, and an all around "good catch."
Well ladies and gentlemen, thats a lie. I have discovered that I am all those things on a good, happy, smooth day. On a day when I'm cranky or hungry or pms-y or short tempered, I am exposed for who I really am. Suddenly out the window goes the "happy fairy child" and I'm left with a snappy, selfish, critical, short tempered, petty, opinionated, snarling little badger ready to pick a fight 'just because.'
You may be wondering, how does this relate to a mirror or, maybe is Justin a terrible husband to turn me into Cruella Deville? Let me continue.
When I was single, I was exactly who I am now, both good and bad. But, when I was single, it was easy to see myself as better than I was because when I was snarly I could just go home and cool off. If i was in a bad mood, I stayed to myself or went to bed. If I felt like saying critical things about someone, I was the only one who had to know.
When I was single, I didn't have someone always there to be a witness to the ugly of me. Its easy to hide it, even to yourself, if no one is with you. But when you have someone else watching and taking the brunt of your attitudes and careless words and selfishness...suddenly it all becomes very real and you have to come face to face with the fact that you're actually NOT all that. Because you are witnessed in your lowest points, you suddenly see them. So it is a mirror.
However, this is not a bad thing. (at least i keep telling myself that) Because if you can hide from your dirty laundry they'll stay dirty forever. Its upon being exposed to someone else that you have to fess up, admit it, face it, and go to your Help.
So even though this mirror shows me in no uncertain terms that I'm kind-of a jerk, if I can let shame and remorse lead me to humility and repentance, its all for the best.
I have a lot of changing to do, thankfully I know that its not impossible because God is the changer, I am just the changee.