We are Telus, Who Don't Do Anything...

...We just sta-ay home and lie around. And if you a-sk us to do anything. We'll just te-ell you.....We don't do ANYTHING!

That's a song by the way.

For those of you who have tried to reach us via telephone and heard a mechanical voice claiming our number has been disconnected...I am sorry. I am sorry we have such a lame phone service.

Here's what's going on:
Before we moved in August I set it up to have our phone forwarded to an automatic voicemail for the month of September saying, "so sorry, we cannot come to the phone right now because we're on Vancouver Island, please call back in October."
Basically:
September 1-disconnect at old address, forward to voicemail.
October 1-discontinue voicemail, connect at new location.
Sounds ridiculously simple for a phone company; especially since they gave me those options, advised me on what would be easiest, and repeated all the details back perfectly on the phone.

It's been more like this:
September 1-Drink coffee
September 5-completely disconnect phone, charge enormous contract violation fees.
September 5-12- sit on arses. Drink coffee. Ignore angry customer's pleas.
September 13-realize mistake, hook up voice mail. Charge misc. fees.
September 22-confirm new location and connection days. Customer is mildly impressed.
September 28- disconnect voice mail and internet contract. Charge more fees.
October 1-miss connection day. Drink coffee. Frustrated customer can't call because she has no phone.
October 2-7-make promises. Break promises. Ignore increasingly irate customer's pleas.
October 8-fail to show up at customer's house as scheduled. Blame Canada Post. (for real)
October 9- reschedule connection for October 16. Do not advise customer. Make excuses.
October 10- Get dumped by furious customer. Drink coffee.

This is where we're currently at. I've switched to Shaw and if they pull through will have internet on Tuesday and a phone and probably a new number next Friday.
Until then...carrier pigeons.