I didn't believe the first one so we drove to town and bought two more. They kept saying the same thing!
There's a mix of shock, terror, joy, and disbelief on my face. (I also look like I have energy, right now I can't remember what that feels like.) I pretty much just looked at these little bits of evidence all day and got nothing else done.
Sometime next summer, around July 3rd, we're going to have a tiny person in this house. A very tiny person, and we're going to have to keep it happy and alive! You'd think that having 10 siblings, 8 of which are younger, I would feel calm and prepared for this but let me assure you, I do NOT.
For those of you who have been bugging me to post "cute belly" pictures let me assure you that a pregnant belly begins as a muffin top. At least for me. And there is nothing remotely cute about a muffin top.
I was going to post a picture of an actual human muffin top but they were all too disgusting. This gives you a visual of what things are looking like here though. No pictures until I look more Pregnant than Plump. Or at the very least Pregnant AND Plump.
Some things that have changed in life:
I don't sleep well.
I don't love peanut butter anymore and that makes me sad.
I HATE the smell of laundry and dish soap. HATE it. My rabid smell sensors have tamed a bit but I still loathe those smells.
I sneeze twice a day, every day. Have you ever heard of a mother who is allergic to her baby? 'Cuz I think I am. It's the most bizarre thing.
I am lazy and unmotivated and I blame the baby.
My back is insanely itchy! It makes me crazy! It feels like I have a personal hive of ants living on my back! I've armed myself with 3 kinds of belly balms and a dry skin brush. It's helping.
I can eat 3 large pieces of pizza and 3 or 4 whole waffles in a sitting. This is roughly 75% more than I can usually fit into my stomach.
I want jalapenos and banana peppers every day. We have none.
I could drink 2 quarts of fruit juice every single day.
I love pajamas. And the couch. My baby is going to come out diabetic at this rate.
I have no functional lobes in my brain. I thought "mommy brain" was a hoax but the joke is on me. I even confronted my employer (which happens to be my pastor) about a paycheck I was missing and when asked to bring in all my paystubs of the last 3 months; I found the paystub of the check I was "missing!" I have no memory of receiving or cashing it. That was humiliating.
My jeans are tight.
My shirts are tight. And short.
My underwear are tight.
For the first time in my life, I actually need a brassiere. This I don't mind so much but I'm finding I don't know how to dress for this "problem."
I literally pee 784 times a day.
I actually get too hot when I sleep. I've never ever ever gotten too hot in the winter. Ever.
I pant all the time. I can't sit and talk at the same time without getting completely out of breath.
I'm sure there's more but I'm also sure that anyone who's had kids could pretty much write the same list.
On a somewhat different note: I assist and teach 2 preschool classes, twice a week and "It's time to see if Mrs. W's belly has grown" is becoming a regular part of our circle time. In fact, if we forget, the kids remind us! Yesterday the other teacher, Mrs E, put her head down to my stomach and told Jr to keep growing because all his friends at preschool want to meet him.
Mrs. E: "Do you think the baby can hear me?"
Kids: "Giggle giggle. NO, that's silly. Giggle"
Gavin: "You have to yell in her mouth so the baby can hear!"
You can imagine, I didn't let them try.
6 comments:
Congratulations!!! So exciting! Looking forward to cute prego belly pics :)
And, hilarious story about the preschool kids.
Congratulations....finally...it is about time you announced it here. I am all huffy about hearing the news from my sister.....= )
Yes, I have been convinced all four times that I was not allergic to the baby, but to pregnancy and that it was going to suck the life right out of me. I could not keep any food down, but still craved straight pickled jalapeno peppers.....strange. Glad I am not the only one. (No, I could not keep them down either, but they are one thing that i still liked afterwards)
Welcome to motherhood, it gets more complicated along the way, and with little breaks of job inbetween!
You have to write a book! I was almost in tears reading this because I was laughing. Why in the world didn't you let them yell into your mouth for the baby to hear? Haha!
I can't believe you're actually pregnant enough to be outgrowing your clothes already. Guess cuz I haven't you in, oh, about a decade! it doesn't seem as real. But I am going to save up money so that I can come see you guys and junior when he is born!
I'm sorry ur miserable but it lightened my day to read this!
Hi Carolyn, Finally! I just realized that I forgot to send you the Bella Bands. I will put them in the mail tomorrow.
I asked my midwife if it was possible to have allergies only when pregnant because I sneezed constantly. She told me that it wasn't allergies but just an increase in mucus. Lovely... Be comforted in knowing that several ounces of the weight is due just to an increase in mucus and when the baby comes what could be easier to lose then mucus? Also comforting is that one gallon of water weighs 8 freaking lbs! By June you will easily have that and probably more in just water weight which also leaves almost overnight.
I am sure your muffin top is far more appealing then you make it out to be.
Kids are crazy! I just found out today that Remi's prayer request on Sunday is that "Mama would have a baby girl"! I really want my kids to have their prayers answered and their faith to grow but their idea of a baby girl is basically a warm doll that they can dress in pink. Please don't answer this prayer with a "Yes" Lord.
My favorite things to eat with the boys were sardines and green olives. With the girls I craved steak. And potatoes. Feed me potatoes everyday...
It is so cool that you are pregnant. If my deluge of advice and commentary gets annoying just tell me to back off. :-)
~Diana
yeah, i hate those women that are all "I loved being pregnant I never felt better" they are completely crazy! I could definitely add to the list and when people say that I'm like "which part of this did you love?" lol congrats! My babies were so awesome though it totally made up for the pregnancies!
A huge congratulations!!!! I am totally with Crystal in that you must right a book, I was laughing so hard I think I had a tear or two and then halfway through had to stop and start rereading it because my husband wondered what was making me laugh so hard. I am looking forward to the pictures in the future, but that was a great muffin top picture I must admit.
I normally love Chinese food and couldn't get anywhere near it without wanting to vomit while I was pregnant, sorry to hear about the peanut butter though : (
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