Oh so matronly

Most people assume, upon finding out I have 10 siblings, that I must be the whole matronly package. Highly skilled in the arts of baking, cooking, cleaning, nose wiping, sewing etc. These people, all of them, are wrong. The beauty of having so many siblings is that, while there is ample opportunity to learn every one of those skills, there's also enough helpers that most of the time, you are each put to what you do best. That is why some of us knew how to cook at age 12 but I didn't learn until I was 24 and why some of us are highly skilled seamstresses and I have so far only managed the "stresses" part.

I liked to take care of the kids, clean, and do laundry. I still do. Cleaning is very high on my list of things I enjoy. I especially enjoy cleaning the bathroom sink, the shower, the kitchen aid, any metal appliances, and the kitchen counters. (note: all those things shine when cleaned...part racoon perhaps?) I have a sense of inner peace when these things are done. Who needs yoga or massage? Give me a mop bucket and some windex and my happy place COMES TO ME!!

Ahem...pardon me. I am losing the point of this post. I might be a little passionate about cleaning stuff.

So, yes, the things I didn't learn. Cooking, gardening, and sewing are 3. I've had almost 2 years of cooking now and am a work in progress.

Gardening has been given a shot with a mixture of successes and failures.

And sewing. My sister inherited the art from mom who could sew anything from a tent to jeans to a wedding dress and I....well, I inherited the old sewing machine. We are not friends.

I had a lovely relaxing, domesticated little wife of a day today. (yes i DID clean the counters!) I baked some bread, tidied, dusted, grocery shopped, picked some vegetables, mended a broken spoke on our covered wagon wheel, and sewed a new bonnet for the upcoming harvest festival... :)

....oooor something like that. Anyway the result of these accomplishments was a superficial feeling of invincibility, and in this state I happened to notice the small mending pile that has been sitting and whining at me for about 8 months. Without a second thought I dug out the buried machine and set it up. Easy enough. Then for 2 hours I fought with the beast to sew 6 simple, straight seams. Just the sight of that hungry little needle chomping its way toward my fingers makes me tense and unfortunately, my FOOT tenses which of course makes it chomp even more insanely and then my straight seam flies off its little path and offroads into my shirt. There must have been something wrong with the tension as well because my material kept gathering and following my needle. I wanted a SEAM not a RUFFLE goshdarnit!

I also mended a pair of Justin's work pants which had split up the crotch. THOSE seams are no walk in the park, let me tell you. The first try looked like my needle was drunk and chasing my thread. I looked inside at the bottom seam and found I had a most impressive birds nest! Not what I was hoping for. After several trial and errors the thing no longer has holes but I have no false hopes of it lasting with those flimsy little seams.

The invincible feeling was shot to ribbons and now I need chocolate. Unfortunately I ate all of it yesterday when I had cramps. And I do mean ALL. I'm ashamed to say I bought it and actually HID it from Justin. I love the bridge mixture and purchased a little extra to put into Justin's lunch. Good luck. Not a single chocolate covered raisin escaped my frenzied face stuffing. I'm pretending I only bought 1/4 cup even though, oddly enough, I wasn't hungry at dinner time. Look, I had cramps ok?

I guess since the matronly shoe doesn't fit so well I'll have to find a different box to put myself into. Maybe I'll get a tattoo and buy some leather pants...