Skinny Jeans

Ahhhh....skinny jeans. Yes, the newest fashion trend. (And of course by "newest" I mean the most recently repeated. This is not the first time such a spectacle has been forced upon us.) Anyone who's anyone is now greasing up their lower half with vaseline and then forcing their body into denim pantyhoes....finishing off with a pair of skater shoes. The effect of big shoes on skinny legs is similar to that of an uncomfortable and immodest clown.

It looks goofy but predictible on the girls. Since the beginning of time, well, since the fig leaves went out anyway, we've been coming up with unlimited torture methods by which we cripple ourselves into socially accepted shapes...all in the name of fashion. Think, corsets, foot binding, starving, waxing, highheels, and underwire bras. For the record, I'm not apposed to underwire, its just that when cheap underwire cuts through cheap fabric during the receiving line at your reception....eeeeyouwwww! Small taste of hell. Its already deeply nestled in your left lung and you still have 80 guests to hug! And with the way you have to hire a "dresser" with the purchase of your dress just to sew you in on the morning of the big day...there's no way you're going to get under 12 layers discreetly to rearrange the offending lance in your heart. No, by the time you can get to it, you'll need surgery to remove it!

Now where was I? Oh yes, skinny jeans. As I said, on girls...not surprised. The kicker with skinny jeans is that
they are unisex. And let me tell you, just like tight shirts are a quick lesson in the shape of girls vs guys....tight jeans are a whole new anatomy lesson! Its strange you know, because of this lovely metro trend, there is a whole generation of really pretty guys out there. Cute hair cuts, colors, and do's- possible eyeliner, tight tailored clothes, pink....its as fascinating as it is disturbing. From the back its toss up as to which sex you're looking at anymore. But just wait until those skinny jeans turn around! Yahaeeeeugghhh....blink blink.....ew. Annnnnnd now you know. Not only can you tell you're looking at a male, you can tell you're NOT looking at a boxer wearing male. If he were a clock you could tell what time it was! I know I know, a little graphic for my Christian blog but hey, its a little graphic for my Christian eyes! By the way, none of the pictures I've put on here are as tight as some of the real life wearers I've seen on the street!

Seriously, tell me I am not the only person who sees this!? Guys often use the term "headlights" when referring to a woman baring a bit too much of her.....well of her headlights. I propose that if we have to watch where and when we shine our headlights, they ought to show us the same courtesy with their....hehe....flashlights. :) I came up with that one on my own! I probably look like the straight jacket woman on the streets with the way I walk down the sidewalks keeping my chin up and my eyes studiously at nosehair level.

Of course, between the highheels, the corset, and the chandelier earrings I pretty much AM the straightjacket woman. Turn my head too quickly or tilt my chin just a bit much and I'll literally tip over into a fashionable little pile on the crosswalk.

I saw an online article titled "Scrawn is the new Brawn." Yeah I don't think so, thanks.
When did we trade in the dream of this...




to something like this? Think he'll slay your dragons? Or maybe just paint abstract pictures of them.