Yogurt vs. Botox

Just so you know, the course I'm taking requires us to experiment with home cosmetics, formulas, and remedies. Recently I learned of a huge list of home cosmetics and, ever the thrifty wife, I've been eagerly trying them out. Instead of buying masks and hot oils and cosmetics, I've taken to soaking my hair in vinegar, wrapping my feet in crushed pineapple, and slathering my face with honey and/or plain yogurt. I don't think I've been transformed but I may be more edible. All I need now is a little salt...

Having admitted my refrigerator/spa habit, it's gotta be better than whatever some of these 75 yr old "I still look 24 don't I?" ladies use. This breed of women seems rampent in the Okanagan. And ever since the sun hit us they've really come out of the woodworks. I saw a lady yesterday who had to be at least 55 wearing bum cheek exposing shorts. Not a word of a lie. Granted, she was in excellent shape for an older woman but it doesn't mean I want to see ALL of her.

I volunteer at Ten Thousand Villages for 4 hours a week and last Friday two textbook examples platformed their way into the store. They oozed money, and not in a classy way. These poor unfortunates looked almost plastic. Their faces were both wrinkle and expression free thanks to some liberal botox. Their eyebrows were arched nearly to their hairlines. Everything was painted, eyes, lips, nails, toes, cheeks, hair. Their perfume was so thick and potent it proceeded them into the store by about 10 minutes. All this topped off by quality smoker's rasps.

I greeted them with the TTV story about us being fair trade and run 90% volunteer to keep costs affordable while still paying artisans good prices and so on. The answer was a quick fake attempt at enthusiasm. "Really, well how lovely." Two minutes later the first lady finds a beautiful handmade solid wood, clock/barometer/thermometer piece.

First woman:
"Look at this goooorgeous piece. This would match anything. I've GOT to have it and its only $80!!"
Second Woman:
"It IS beautiful" (loudly) "I WONDER IF THEY'D LOWER THE PRICE FOR YOU. $80 IS PRETTY HIGH FOR A LITTLE CLOCK!"

I ignored them. This woman had the nerve to come up to the counter and ask if this item could go on sale for her. She got a solid "no" although I wanted to ask her if she would feel happy about taking the bread out of a starving child's mouth so she can have her freaking clock on her wall. Then as she's paying for the clock she noticed our handmade (expensive) woven baskets. Without a care in the world she rifled through them and picked out several, telling me she's "decorating their new motorhome in black and red and these $90 baskets will be just the thing to hang by her mirror oh and by the way could THESE go on sale!?" Another solid no. "Oh well, no matter. Which credit card do you want, my visa, mastercard, or American express. I think I've maxed out my visa this weekend but will you give it a try?"

Infuriating!! My vision began clouding with red. I had this fleeting movie moment in my head where I pick up the rich lady by the scruff of her neck and toss her out the door. I didn't...I just imagined it.

$250 later she finally left our store. Why do we do this? Why are we so selfish? We see sad but true documentaries on poverty and unfairness across the world and our hard little hearts feel bad momentarily but heaven FORBID we should sacrifice a cent to change it. Oh I'll care and send up a little prayer for the children but do not touch my money. As much as that lady got to me...her attitude really seemed a lot like someone else I know. Someone I know well.

What am I doing and how am I handling my money??? Those are the real questions.